Chapter One: An Eternity of Relaxation and One Day of Bliss

“In space, there are things we cannot begin to comprehend. The vigilante world that orbits the mega-planet Magnus, of course I am talking about Xzipit, better known as Neon Gash, is beyond our understanding. All we know is that it is the meeting place of calamities.”

– Old Man Lightning, primeval incarnation of lightning and an old adventurer from another dimension.

I awake to find myself upside down on my old, squeaky bed.

“Third time in a row I’ve ended up like this in my sleep. Maybe me – in my dreams – is tryin’ to tell me somethin’.” I sigh and arrange the pillows so that they’re at the back of the bed rather than the front.

“Now I better stay still during the night or else I’ll have to get myself a new shrink,” I say to no one.  I jump out of bed and walk over to the adjoining kitchen/living room, and check the calendar to see if anything’s happening today. . . Nope. Again, another boring day where I get to do nothing. Great Space Ape in The Sky! This. Is. Boring! Maybe if someone were to try and assassinate me, maybe, just maybe, I could get some excitement. But,noooooo. I got to be stuck in here, because I’ve been put on house arrest by request of my would-be executives for “over-working” during an operation. So what if the building was destroyed to “no repair” in the process of the mission!? At least, I got the job done.